We all have a hard time saying no, particularly to our boss, and our co-workers as well, when they seek out our help with something. However, as difficult as it is, I believe it is imperative that you learn how to say no effectively so all parties involved in the quest for assistance are not negatively affected in any way.

Naturally, you want to impress your boss and co-workers, especially if you are relatively new to the group, and of course, it can be very easy to keep taking on more work to appease and impress them. However, if you continue to do this, there will inevitably come a time when you are not able to cope with your workload, and other time commitments you may have with meetings or committees, et cetera.

This is why you need to learn to say no and realize that turning other work down does not, and definitely should not, have a negative affect on your job. The bottom line is that once you learn how to say ‘no’ effectively, you will be much more in control of your role and gain the respect of others in this process.

If you are one of those people with whom everyone expects a yes when they approach you to do something for them, then they will continue to keep asking you! I must confess and share with you the fact that it has only been over the last 7 years or so, that I reached the point of having to learn how to say no, myself and mean it, own it, act on it, and give no apologies for it. If you honestly can spare the time to devote to someone that needs your help, I would hope that you would do so. When you find yourself in need of assistance, the people that you have helped in the past will be there for you as well. This is what I like to call a win-win.

If you continue to be the yes person, this will only perpetuate the situation, and you will soon find yourself overwhelmed. You need to change the perception and expectation of others by changing the way you work and react to them. If they see that you are serious about learning to say no, then this action will earn their respect, and they will find alternate ways of getting their respective jobs done.

Do not simply stop taking on any more work or saying no all the time, because this will create confusion with your boss and co-workers, and possibly create some resentment. It is always best, in business situations, to deal with your concerns directly with the individuals in charge.

I would suggest that you approach your Team Leader, and provide clear examples of why your workload is becoming too much, as you have previously been the go to person when others needed help and/or your expertise. Then, if practical and possible, have your Team Leader speak to your boss and co-workers to explain where you are coming from in this regard. If you would prefer to deal with your co-workers directly, get a small group together for coffee, and gently let them know how you feel about the extra demands placed on your time, and the impact it is having on your own work and division.